Day 12: Love for the Game

I had to get my love of the game back. It was getting tedious, getting pwnd all the time, and starting to wear on me. Anyhow, I cheated a little and played a game just for myself all through last night. It was going really well, on the same difficulty setting, so I thought I'd start a new one and write about it. Character name: Estyr (Again) Starting lands: Sarranid Empire (Random choice, really, no reason). Game starts out with me being ambushed, again. I don't think I'll do the duck brother quest right away this time, though. Not sure why, but I don't really feel like saving him. I enrolled in a tournament before I ever left town, which was probably a mistake, seeing as my stats were HORRIBLE, but whatever - I thought I'd take a shot.

I was knocked out in the 2nd round, but was declared the wild card due to my super duper awesomeness, and kept going. I ended up winning and gaining a level (yay level 2!). I had put whatever money I had on myself, so I won a tidy sum as well - on to the actual game now! (picture of me winning the tournament at Shariz, as well as a picture of Estyr at the start of the game)

I recruited a few Sarranid chumps and we pwnd a bunch of looters (pretty easily, actually. I checked my difficulty level and it was still super high woot) We went back to Shariz to sell all our loot and there was ANOTHER tournament going on! I had to enroll - I had just won one! And... again, I won! Tonnes of money to start with yaaaaay! I was also able to attend the feast at the palace, where I attempted to woo a lady with my sexy prowess of doucheness.

On the way out of town we were attacked by a few Khergit horsemen (I. hate. horses) and they took us prisoner. Sigh. Anyhow, that's it for today, I'll write more soon.

Day 11: No Pole!

Bazhyn had been captured one too many times. I decided to let him die in the hands of his captors. NEW CHARACTER TIME! Name: Estyr Starting Area? Rhodok lands! They're short dark and ... there. This one is gonna use mostly long ranged weapons, and I'm going to try to give him a spear or a lance of I can - something a little different than what I normally use. I think Duck brother will make an appearance this post, just maybe. I'll try to take a few shots of him, as I've been requested to on a number of occasions. So I, once again, accepted the merchant's quest to save his brother, and, finding my doctor (Jeremus) in my starting town's tavern, I marched on to glory and riches. I saved duck brother, and completed the rest of the stupid retarded quest. "Hey can you help me kill a buncha random people in the streets? No one will question us! Oh, btw, we have no weapons and most of us will get killed. Thanks" My question to HIM is this: "why not get duck brother to help? HMM?!" he doesn't even come to help! after ALL that, the merchant fights, but duck brother doesn't! What a skeez. Where was HE when I was getting beat up on? HMMMMM?! I got knocked out this time around, not sure why. Sometimes the enemy decides to ALL come after ONLY ME and ignore everyone else. This was one of those times! Yet, where was duck brother?! He didn't save me. He's no hero. 3 pics posted here, one is a face shot of duck brother, one is a full shot, and the other is a picture of his NEW brother, which resembles him as much as a foot resembles a walrus.

Afterwards, I went to do a few errands for some of the Rhodok Counts, as I'm planning to work for them as a mercenary this time around, and maybe eventually become a Count myself. One of the missions involved killing an alleged murderer, again. I usually like these missions, but this time he threw ONE knife at me and it killed me. Musta been a head shot or something I guess, but now I had to go explain to the Count why the guy was still alive and that he'd never be caught. Fail. After a while of riding around I realized that this character was the biggest fail on the planet, so I've decided to start again fresh tomorrow. Come back to find out what happens!

Day 10: I'ma get outta here kk?

I decided to get out of Khergit lands asap, seeing as I was alone and I hate fighting horses, even when I have a tonne of men. I think I'll try out some Rhodok troops next (Crossbows and halberds ftw?) I also forgot to mention something awesome that happened during combat yesterday. There was a horseman riding towards me VERY quickly with a big axe, ready to cut me. I had my bow out and thought that switching weapons would take too long, so I took a shot at him. RIGHT.IN.THE.FACE. He went flying backwards off his horse. Boom. Headshot.

Anyhow, on my way to Rhodok lands, I picked up a few recruits of various nationalities, just to have someone to help me defend myself should I get attacked (Or act as meat shields, either way). I found Bunduk in a bar, which made me feel a little better protected cause he's a crackshot with a crossbow. I found him just in time, because, as we were on our way out of town, we got attacked by a large group of deserters (most of whom were elite archers). I took a lot of damage, but we managed to kill them. For some reason they ALL focused their fire on me, so my troops were able to cut them down from behind. Stoopid rchurz. Afterwards I found a bunch of Rhodok recruits and looked around some more for my companions. This game can get repetitive, no? I bought a REALLY expensive book in Jelkala (A Rhodok town) which raises my trainer skill by +1. It's useful for quickly leveling recruits so they don't suck, so it was worth the money I think. As long as it doesn't get stolen -.-

I ended up in Sarranid lands (Desert) and decided to get down to some trading. I needed a little more money - I was comfortable but I like to be rich, so I tried to figure out a few good deelz. So I was on my way to help out some farmers when I got attacked by Khergit lancers. AGAIN -.- Elite troops should NOT roam the open plain. Anyhow, me and my recruits couldn't hold them back, so I got taken prisoner. And guess what? That book I paid 6000 denars for? They took it. This game is starting to get tedious on this difficulty level. 4 srs. The worst part about being taken prisoner is, honestly, that you have no men to be able to defend yourself when you inevitably escape. They enemy just rides you down again - so lame! This time they took my really cool sword! I hate horse people. Bane of my existence, honestly.

Anyhow, I enrolled in a tournament and won again, and bet on myself, again. Won lots of money. That was it for this session. TUNE IN AGAIN, and by tune I mean type in the url, or go to your bookmarks, or whatever. BYEZ!

Day Nine: NOT AGAIN!

So I was taken prisoner AGAIN, this time by random Khergit lancers. They're elite troops, and the fact that they're roaming around is bs. They should only be in armies, not deserters! I got quite a few of them but my men for whatever reason didn't want to listen in the battle, so we lost. Then I tried to get away from them when I "escaped"? Yea, no they pwnt me again. I'm lucky I didn't lose any armour, though, but all my companions ran away again. /sigh. I had almost all of them back too! Anyhow, I found a few of my drunken compatriots are random bars, recruited a few Khergit dudes (that suck, but whatever) and moved on. We got pwnt again. I hate horse units, they're annoyingly hard to catch, even on a faster horse. LAME. Anyhow, while the last post was long, this one won't be as... such. My heart wasn't really in it anymore so I put my dude to sleep. THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY!

Day Eight: Tournaments!

So I joined a tournament in a town under siege by enemy forces (Don't ask me why they're holding tournaments while their town is under siege, but whatever). Anyhow, I was pwning, when, all of a sudden, BOTH teams (there were 3 teams in that section of the tournament) all decided to attack ME and my team just sat there and didn't help. The tournament judge declared that I was the wildcard and could continue to the next round even though I got beaten up, however, due to my earlier pwnage of a quarter of each other team. WIN. I got through the next few rounds pretty easily, and at some point killed the dude so brutally that I got a few seconds at the end of the round. I proceeded to knock out his horse. It looked at me funny! Silly horse. I ended up winning the tournament and, because I had been betting on myself illegally, won a crapload of money. Picture is of me in the tournament gear. Blue team win.

I found a really good deal on Oil in that town, on my way out (Suno,in Swadia), so I bought a whole bunch to sell in another town called Reyvadin, where I'd get almost double (per jar) what I'd paid for it. Turns out I didn't buy enough to break even after buying myself a new horse (which wasn't cheap), so back to Suno I went. What a waste of time. I DID, however see the merchant there, DUCK BROTHER'S BROTHER!!!!1! I've included a picture of him as well, RIGHT (-->) over there. Notice the family resemblance? So when I went back to Suno, the siege had lifted. I noticed the Swadian lords riding out to defend their town on the way to Reyvadin (the first time /sigh) and I went to buy some more Oil... which was now less than half the price it was when I bought it the first time! Awe.Some.Oil. I sold it for the same price at Reyvadin! The same 500 something price! Fantastical.

Afterwards I actually KILLED some sea raiders, and, while I didn't get my cool armour back, I did pick up some pretty good bodyarmour from 'em. Also, I like shooting my men in the back with arrows when the fight is over. Not to kill them, but to make them suffer a little. FEAR>ANGER>HATE>SUFFERING! *muppet*


I continued to pwn sea raiders for a while, my army has actually gotten good enough to do some damage now. Nordic foot soldiers are tough and strong so WIN! At some point I was attacked by HUNDREDS of sea raiders, so I ran to a castle to seek refuge. When I got there, however, I found a skeleton sitting at their dinner table. I'm not sure what to make of this - there's no explanation whatsoever, he's just there with a cup in his hand. I've never seen there before (Pic included) Weird. The people at Bulugha castle have some explaining to do. Especially the woman standing at the end of the table like nothing is wrong. WHAT A BITCH!

Afterwards, I stormed a majestic sea raider hideout along a rockbeach. I managed to kill them and raise my archery skill quite a bit (I picked up a longbow off a dead sea raider a while ago, and, even though I had to raise my Power Draw skill to even be able to EQUIP it, it looks so badass and actually deals some damage) I've also included a picture of Pincushion me and my horse after a battle. I was pretty close to death, yet managed to kill the enemy while being outnumbered 2:1. The picture doesn't really do it justice, but my shield, my horse, and my body had arrows and javelin sticking out of us left and right.

On my way to find a few more of my companions I enrolled in a tournament at Dhirim, a Swadian City. I won. I always seem to be on the blue team when I win, not sure why. It changes team colours in the middle of the thing too, so you're on a different team every bout. Weird that I always win being blue. WEIRD. On my way out of town I was attacked by a band of Khergit Horsemen. I had to get my troops to turtle for a while, until the horsemen wasted all their arrows. I lost a few troops, but I just didnt have the speed to chase down horsemen on an open plain. I found my men a little hill, though, so it wasn't too bad. We managed to kill them when they charged us (I had been riding around, picking off a few as well as I could with my bow and scimitar if they got close) Anyhow, one of them dropped BIG BLACK BOOTS for me, which were better than my boots and now I can listen to BBB as I play Warband! Win. Listen to the sound. Of my BIG.BLACK.BOOTS.

So I found Ymira at a bar in Praven, she's the purdy one I had lost after that battle a few days ago with the Sea raiders, but now she is mine again mwaha! Anyhow I'm going to break this session into two posts cause this is getting long and I'm sure you're all bored of reading it by now. PIECES.

Day Seven: Knee Arrows

< POST>

I recruited some random arabs, and went to attack a desert bandit lair. There's no intro to this post, as you may have noticed. Didn't feel like it. I recently started practicing with my bow, so I decided to kill all the bandits with arrows. I think I did a pretty good job, seeing as I shot one in BOTH knees with arrows, then cut him, and ANOTHER one I killed from something like 60 ft away (It said my shot difficulty was 4.3 or something, which is hard to do) 3 or 4 times, KILLING him before my men could reach him. Arrow win. I wish duck brother was there, I'da shot him in the knees too.

I traveled back to Nord lands aftewards, hoping to maybe pwn some sea raiders, as they had pwnt me so many times earlier in the game. Yea, same old story. I fought ONE band of sea raiders, and, during the battle, 3 or 4 more LARGE bands joined in and I got pwnd. Worst of all? I lost my pointy boots and arabic shirt :( Fail. That and my entire army got slaughtered... plus my companions all dispersed again /sigh. I really need to get this whole "not dying on hard mode" thing down. it's not working out too well so far. This kinda wasn't my fault though, I had most of the sea raiders dead then more joined in on their own. They were in the neighbourhood, apparently. NEIGHBOURHOOD OF DEATH!!!!!!!1!!111! Oh and my new fancy horse died. This day sucked in Warband. Short post, as I'm going to sleep and am disheartened.

< / POST>

Day Six: Duck Brother

I decided to go back to the merchant and save his duck brother again. It's the same frickin person! He's EVERYONE'S brother! Picture will show, either he's a time traveller or he's a doppelganger of some sort. Do a comparison! This one is him in a winter climate.

Afterwards, I went to level my character... apparently it thought I was starting the game again for some reason, and said it was doing a tutorial on leveling. I thought "okay fine, glitch but I'll just get through it and it'll be done". Yea, no. It froze after I leveled myself. The game shouldn't have these kinds of glitches this long after release. This shit shoulda been patched... yo.

I restarted after going down to the steam room for a while and started collecting more recruits to train into HARDENED SOLDIERS! After beating up a buncha taiga bandits at one of their lairs, I was on my way back to tell a Boyar that I had killed said bandits, when ANOTHER horde of them pwnd me. Pwnt. Anyhow, they took me prisoner, which made me sad. Then it happened... again. Not the same taiga bandits, though, but still taiga bandits nonetheless. q.q After a while getting taken prisoner by taiga bandits got old, so I decided to find this random Boyar dude that gave me the quest to kill their lair and get outta Vaegirs lands... cept I couldn't find him. Everyone told me he was near Rivacheg, but he wasn't. They LIED to me. When I get a chance, and when I'm strong enough, I'm going to go kill each and every boyar, one by one. LIARS!

Anyhow I finally made it out of Vaegir lands, after finding the lord and getting a shittonne of xp for the quest (I gained 2 levels, a companion gained 3. THIS IS THE WAY) and headed to Nord land, where jarlsberg cheese is tastier. So I started to train peasants in a town called Rizi, to help them against bandits or something, when it occurred to me "hey... these random peasants are almost kicking my ass, maybe I'm doing something wrong here?" So after some training, we beat up the bandits attacking their village, and I went looking for my lost party members. I found Bunduk, in, you guessed it, a bar. he's always in a bar. They all are. Why are they such drunks.

I took my first trek through Rhodok lands today, with this character. Pretty, lots of mountains. I didn't pick up and recruits along the way because I'm trying to keep my army pure, none of that mixed blood shit. I like Rhodok troops though, crossbows and halberds! (at their maxed levels) At some point, in the Sarranid desert lands, I decided to join my archers in their line, spewing arrows at at the meager deserter force charging me. High ground win. A few skirmishes later, I found super duper awesome arab armour, better than the sea raider drops and much cooler looking! I also found a cool sword, but that's beyond the point. I'm now a blonde arab. Win. Oh and I found another good horse, as opposed to the... no horse I had for a long time. Oh and pointy elf boots, they're pretty fantastical too. After all that I decided to put the dude to bed, so I did. That's all for today FOLKZ. May all your hands be live and your pots be MONSTERS!

A few pics posted below. One of My first attempt at taking a screenshot of him being all arabic. He's apparently a ghost. The 2nd one worked fine.

Day Five: Retirement!

So I got bored of this character, and, after speaking with a M&B colleague, decided to make the crappiest starting character I possibly could, just for a challenge. Ghazi retired to, apparently, a life of crime, robbing hobos and women of copper pieces to make ends meet. That's sad, he was cool. Anyhow, new character creation incoming! Name: Bazhyn Starting area: Vaegir lands (essentially poland) Why? Cause... snow is neat and... polish chicks can be hot too, especially when named Magda.

Anyhow, I'm sure this'll be fantastically difficult, as I put very few points into raising his various combat skills, which are NECESSARY for early game. Anyhow, does he look polish enough? (picture posted above). I decided to NOT help out the merchant this time, his brother can get raped by a gaggle of silverbacked gorillas for all I care, and instead went off riding around to towns, collecting crappy polish recruits for my army of retards. I'm anticipating being pwnt by the crappiest of the marauding bandits - Looters, so my army must be massive to fight them. MASSIVE. MAH-hasiv. Hmm maybe I should have called my guy Mahhasive. Next time. I just realized that I'm dirt poor and can't afford a massive army. Sigh. Maybe I should go do that stupid merchant's quest for some starting cash... naw I don't care enough. Plus a polish brother is worth even less to me than an arabic one was... and you all know how I felt about him. Fuckin duck crossbreed trash... Anyhow I actually ran a few errands for some lords (Boyar), including murdering some dude and delivering some mail to some other Boyar at SLEZKH CASTLE (yes, slezkh). The dude I killed was some murderer again, I love how they chase you when you're on a horse and they KNOW they won't be able to catch you... fail.

Anyhow, I've decided that, because my dude is polish and sucks, I need to shoot people with a crossbow from afar. I've adopted a polish style of fighting - shoot, run away and reload, shoot again. Give them ground. just... give it to them. They like it. So my first actual battle, all my men got slaughtered. I was taken prisoner. I killed a few with my crossbow, though, which is neat. Got a few headshots BOOMHEADSHOT! I then got into an altercation with some sea raiders (which are very well equipped. On the plus side, i managed to kill most of them (which was no mean feat), but they still beat me up and took me prisoner (I haven't turned down the difficulty rating, either, so I'm doing this all with a crappy guy on top of the game being super hard). They DID steal my crossbow, though, so I can't be as polish as I once was q.q

So I've realized that, while using axes makes for a slower attack rate, they're effin strong. They also cut through shields really quickly, so I've started using a fighting axes instead of a sword. I knew this before, I just liked the rate of attack a sword provided, but, seeing as I can't find a good one, I've picked up this axe. I tried to saved a village from bandits, but, of course, the LAST bandit left managed to kill me, and the farmers fled, so I failed. FAIL. I don't like failing, even though Bazhyn is polish-like.

Anyhow, I rode around some more, found some companions, actually KILLED a few sea raiders, and managed to make some money. Nothing super special happened, Nothing new to report. I SHALL WRITE MORE LATER!

KKTHNXBI

Day Four: SEA RiADER O M G!

Next day starts with me finding some more companions (one of them I would marry in game if I could, she's hot as far as these creepy looking sprites go, plus she's basically a clean slate, you can level her from level 1) and started attacking sea raiders, as they drop the best gear in the game BY FAR, until you start beating up lords and stuff. Anyhow, I tried to storm one of their shore encampments, which didn't go well. I keep forgetting my men suck, so I went to fight a few of the raiders on my own, thinking that they'd be okay (there were about 8 or 9 men in the raiding party with me) on their own. Yea, no. They all either died or were knocked out, so I had to try and fight that whole section of beachfront on my own, which didn't happen. I realize that I'm more flimsy due to me turning up the damage taken, but still. One arrow kills me? I'm wearing CHAINMAIL! guh. 4 srs. G.U.H.

I found a really good deal on Salt, and, because I have high(ish) trade skill, I deduced that I could sell it for A LOT more in another city, so I decided to buy up a SHIT TONNE of salt and travel across the world (yet again) to sell it. A bit of time passed, nothing happened *TIME LAPSE* I got to the town, sold all the salt, and bought myself a really shmexy new sword, cause mine sucked. I was then attacked (outside the town) but a HUGE swarm of mountain bandits (the size of a lords army, 4 srs) but managed to kill them. I lost a lot of my crappy recruits though, which is annoying cause I had just picked them all up along the way to sell the salt. Recruit fail.

I like saving farmers from bandits. I don't know why, I just do. The farmers look so pathetic too, all "O PLS SUR SAV R VILIJ FRUM ROBERT". So I did. I saved a village named Gisim from 24 marauding forest bandits, all of whom, contrary to the name, do NOT look like robin hood.

At some point I got attacked by a few Rhodok lords and couldn't escape, and they outnumbered me by a HUGE number. I lost. They took me prisoner. It just bugs me more that I have to go find all my companions again, though I can ask travelers in bars if they've seen them. GOOD. TIMES. That sorta put me off playing, so I stopped. More to come tomorrow. MOR 2 cumz kkthnxbi!

Day Three: More Happened

So day three. I allied myself with the Sarranid Sultanate, who is currently at war with the Kingdom of Rhodoks. I was asked to follow the marshall (general) of the Sarranid armies around and help him with stuff, so I did. As they usually do, the general thought it would be a good idea to stay still for about 3 hours (game time) so I set up camp and waited for him to move his dumb ass. We finally departed towards Rhodok lands with a bunch of the Emirs behind us, ready to pwn. (which we did, but we lost lots of men so we went back home to recover)

I then followed the Marshall around for a while, until he went back to his castle that is. He expected me to just hang out around his castle? Screw that noise. If he calls me back I'll come, but I'm not waiting for him to make sweet love to his ugly wife (or daughter, who knows how this society works :S ) I went around to some towns, recruiting people to join my army, seeing as it had been beaten up pretty badly and needed BOLT-ster-ing. The marshall was on the move again (like a retard, again) so I had to follow him around some more, which was boring. He finally went to lay siege to some castle and it let me off the hook, said I didn't need to follow him anymore. I went to find more lame people to join my army, killed another murderer, helped some village by bringing them cattle, etc. Boring stuff for the most part. I did, however, find another party member of mine in a tavern at Shariz, so I took her on.

After a while I found some caravan that wanted to be escorted to a far away city, so, after agreeing upon a price, we started the trip. WORST. ROUTE. EVER. This stupid caravan decided to go through woods, around a mountain, etc. By far this is the worst way I've ever taken to get to this city from the Sarranid lands. If I wasn't working for the Sultanate, and had been paid already, I'd raid them myself, just out of spite. When we had almost arrived, I discovered a HUGE glitch in the game. The caravan master said "NO STRING!" whatever that means, and I couldn't exit the screen. Soooo I had to shut the game down. Hope a lot of this got saved. I'll write more later, I've been disheartened by NO STRING! I've included a picture of the dumbass caravan master up top there. He has no string.

Caravan fail.

Day Two: Still... Not Much Fun

So day two started much the same way day one started: badly. I beat up some random riders on the open plains of the Khergit lands, then was attacked by a horde 3 or 4x the size of my meager band of retards. They knocked me unconscious and took me prisoner. I got revenge shortly thereafter, though, when I saw some Khergit lord pwning my captor (whom I had just escaped) and joined in. I lost Bunduk and another dude I picked up named Firentis (he's some loser that killed his brother in a drunken rage about sleeping with his wife or something, so he's all.... looking for atonement and stuff. whatever) Now I have to go find them at bars, cause they like to get drunk when they get beaten up.

So I couldn't find the losers at near by towns and decided to go attack a steppe bandit lair in the middle of some woods... pretty much on my own cause I haven't trained any of my new recruits yet, so they're not going to be much help. It went surprisingly well - my losers actually helped a bit. So I grabbed some expensive stolen goods from their store rooms to sell and went on my way.

TRAVEL TIME! I decided to go seek out my usual group of followers (the ones you can actually equip and manually level and stuff), which took some time. Along the way I fought a lot of random bandits, sea raiders, etc. Sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. What I forgot to mention about this campaign is that I turned the difficulty WAY up before I started, usually I play on a medium level of difficulty and pwn everything, so... yea. I found Bunduk across the world in a sleazy bar. Not sure what he was doing there, or how he beat me there considering he doesn't have a horse, but whatever. I also found another compatriot, Deshavi (a tracker), in yet another sleazy little dive a kingdom away. These people are so sketchy, honestly. Deshavi is the type you wanna throw out of a 3rd story window though, she's pretty ugly and has an attitude.

Anyhow the rest of the sessions went pretty much the same, looking for people, selling crap. Nothing super important happened. I'll post a picture of Ghazi when he looks a little cooler, he has crappy gear on currently.

MORE TO COME!

Day One: Not Much Fun

So I decided to start a new Mount & Blade: Warband campaign - I'm writing about it on request.

New game goes as thus; Character name: Ghazi. Starting area? Sarranid Empire. Why? Everyone loves sand.... that and those arab chicks in burkas. Anyhow,character creation went okay, tried to make the dude look arabic, which sorta worked out seeing as most of my captains look northern (viking type northern). I started out being ambushed by some retard in an alley. First of all, he failed. These are the reasons he failed:

Ambush checklist:
1) make sure your intended victim doesn't know you're there
2) don't attack him head on when he has the high ground (up some stairs)
3) If you've failed to do both those things, at least make sure his gear isn't better than yours.
4) don't scream at the top of your lungs before your opponent sees you
5) make sure there isn't some old dude standing behind you waiting to run up to your intended victim after he kills you to congratulate him

Okay, so he failed. Pwnt. Repetition win. Anyhow, the old dude asked me to round up some chumps from surrounding towns and beat up some bandits that he thinks kidnapped his brother. I didn't really want to, but I guess he'll pay me or whatever so I accepted. This is how the "quest" went:

Steps:
1) beat up bandits
2) find hideout
3) beat up more bandits
4) rescue brother (that always looks like a retarded duck/baby halfbreed - picture above)
5) help lead the old guy's shittily assembled townsfolk to beat up more bandits, this time in the city streets

Here's what didn't go right.

I found the bandits, I beat them up, found their lair... cept there're elite troops roaming the deserts surrounding it. I tried to kill a few, but, as I just started this guy, he sucks. At one point my horse was running and someone sliced it in the leg and it did a backflip. I've never seen this before. It amused me. Finally I got to the lair, beat the crap outta the bandits THERE and started to take the brother back to the merchant. Now, it might sound like I'm repeating myself a lot.... it's because the mission is fuckin retarded. I wanna hang the brother from one of those beautiful palm trees. On the way out of the lair I tangled with a few looters that were roaming in the desert, pwnt again. Same with the bandits in town. Pwnt. "The heavens alone grant us victory" is what I said to the merchant, when I proly should asked him if that gaping wound in his head would heal soon.

And off I rode to find more "recruits" or "losers" to get killed under my command, loot, burn, and pillage. First stop? Qalyut. A random small town to hunt down an alleged murderer for an Emir (lord). I like murdering murderers. They always look so scared... and like ants, cause I'm on a horse and they aren't. Horse fail. So then it turned out I got the town name wrong - I had to force the peasants to give me tax money for some other Emir. Whatever. Went to Ayn Assuadi to kill the dude. He died. Finding the emirs for payment took a while, but it got done. Done done done.

I found one of my usual companions (Bunduk is his name) in a tavern at Bariyye, one of the large cities. He's a crossbow specialist, and isn't terribly expensive to hire, so I did and stole some of his gear(because it's better than my crappy starting gear). I decided, shortly thereafter, that it would be a good idea to attack a caravan headed for a nearby town... yea, it wasn't I got pwnt. I gravely overestimated the skills of my retarded companions. Never. Again. Bunduk complained, after the battle, that I got a lot of my men killed. "Hopefully it won't happen again" I said to him. I actually meant it, though, whereas I usually don't. I don't like getting killed. Thank whatever the equivelant of Allah is in this game that the caravan didn't persue me after the battle. I was in no shape to fight again. I went to another big city called Ahmerrad to rest up and heal a bit, where I was ambushed (this time by more than one person) in an alleyway. I had MAYBE 3hp, so I took one hit and got knocked out) They robbed me of about 250denars, which isn't that much, so it wasn't too bad. This campaign is starting out horribly. I did, however, pick up some badass desert turbans off some dead guys a few minutes later, so that made me kinda happy.

Anyhow, I tried to attempt a jailbreak, after being asked by an Emir to do so, which also didn't go well. I keep forgetting that my dude isn't godly yet, seeing as I just started... I really should remember that. They threw me in jail for a while, but I was released for good behaviour (or because they traded me for another prisoner, or something, who knows) I decided to put my Ghazi to sleep for a while, as it was getting late.

More to follow.